Think positive

So uhm matriks result came out today. I immediately check if I get an offer or not but it turned out that I dont. I'm not really mad about it since I'm not like hm mengharap sangat. But I know my father always wanted anak anak dia masuk matrikulasi. He sees potential in us smh. Cuma tula kitaorang je yang tak buat dia bangga 😂 

He always say that "Korang ni level matriks sebenarnya kalau belajar betul betul" tapi yeah mengharap sangat pun tak boleh jugak ayah. I kinda felt weird after I checked the result. I felt like I've just betrayed my parents 😢 

I've let them down before with my SPM result because I know that they dont deserve that kind of result from me hm. My result wasn't that bad at least it was way much better than my brother's. It just that I got like 4 subjects which could potentially go to As (B+). I only got like 1 C and 1 D. 

The thing is one of my friend had like 4-5 C pastu dia boleh dapat matriks. Agak-agak kau tak rasa macam mental break-down kejap? I mean like how she even got the offer when she got 4-5 C? Tapi tula orang cakap rezeki masing masing. Takde siapa tahu en. Apa pun alhamdulillah for her.  But I'm still okay with it since I already have two more options which is upu and Unikl. 

Well, upus result will be release in may and I'm not sure if I even get an offer. I doubt that sebab ayah used to told me "budak pandai sekarang memang ramai so kena bersaingan dengan diorang tu semua bukan senang" that's what scares me the most 😪. So I made a backup plan which is mohon U swasta (kira last choice la ni) kalau both matriks and upu tak dapat. Hm kalau upu pun tak dapat, tak tahu la nak cakap apa 😦

Membazir duit je 11 tahun spent dekat sekolah. Well, U swasta bukan tak elok, they're great cuma peluang kerja selalunya lagi cerah if u graduated from U awam. Idk why tapi tu yang orang cakap. Macam orang tak pandang sangat college swasta ni sebab kalau tak pandai tapi banyak duit pun boleh pass. WHAT EVEN? 

Aku tengok ramai budak pandai pandai masuk college swasta lagi adalah hm maybe sebab programmes tht they offer lagi banyak dari U awam kot. Whtvr it is, I'll have to think positives and work extremely hard to achieve my goal. Malas nak fikir benda lain. Ramai be like "Lepas habis spm nak kawin" and I'm like duh bukan nak cakap apa ke siapa je taknak kawin en tapi srsly kalau ikut ekonomi sekarang ni better pentingkan belajar dari terhegeh-hegeh kejar lelaki. Just saying *flips tudung*  

What matters now is education! Bila la nak maju kalau tak fikir pasal pelajaran? Nanti one day mana la tahu ekonomi merundum ke en kau duduk jela tengok kawan kawan kau yang berjaya. Usaha tu kena ada la en. Bak kata hahah ada la orang "Work hard until U dont have to worry about spending your money just for clothes"