Lost..

It's been a month since my worst nighmare came true. It's been a hell of month of me having to go through my days without the person I've always excited to tell how my day was. It's also been a month since I was left with this gigantic invisible hole on my chest.

I can't feel anything right now. I barely talk, barely eat. I tried my best to act like who I normally was but I just can't. That kind of feeling where you feel like screaming but you can't and instead you're left with wet pillows. You took my soul away with you. You took everything. My happiness, my other-half, my heart.

I know this might sound desperate but, I need you.. so bad. I want you and only you. I've promised myself before I met you that I don't want to be in a relationship while I was doing my matriculation and up until my fourth year of degree.

But then you came, unexpectedly... and that was the most wonderful thing ever happened to me. I've never imagine how happy I was with you. You make me feel special like no else can. You treat me so good like I could probably die from your kindness. You have such a gentle heart that melts mine. Your scent, always got my attention. Even from afar, I can smell that it's you. If I could, I would bury my face on your chest and let your scent covered me, completely...

Your eyes... that was always been my favourite part ever. The way that they aren't completely black and slightly brownish. I could stare at it for hours and still be spellbound by how beautiful it is and I could probably drown in it.

I miss every part of you, like so much. But now, you're gone with everything I ever have. Every single thing. Leaving me all alone. Not knowing whether I can survive or not, days without you. Wishing if I could call you with that 'word' for the last time - or maybe, I don't think I can't ever stop calling you with it. But that if I could. I miss what's mine - and it's you sayang, always been you.